Why Couples Struggle with Money—and How to Fix It
When it comes to talking about money, even the most financially savvy couples can hit roadblocks. That’s why I invited BatSheva Goldstein, investment advisor and creator of the FinancialDate™ Discussion Cards, to join me on the podcast. She brings a unique approach to financial communication that goes far beyond spreadsheets. One that’s helping couples understand not just their numbers, but each other.
In our conversation, we explored the real reason so many couples feel stuck when it comes to money: they’re each juggling a different set of influences—past experiences, current realities, and hopes for the future. Unless both people understand these forces (in themselves and in each other), they can end up making decisions in isolation, even while sitting at the same table.
The three financial balls you’re always juggling
Every person makes financial choices through the lens of three key factors: the past, the present, and the future. That may sound simple, but most people don’t take the time to reflect on it. He might have grown up in a home where every penny was tracked. She might feel secure only when there’s a certain amount saved. Those backstories quietly shape how each person sees money and how he or she reacts in moments of financial stress.
Now bring those stories together in a relationship. That’s six balls in the air. Suddenly, even routine decisions can feel overwhelming.
Watch the arc, not just the numbers
In the podcast, BatSheva used the metaphor of juggling to explain how to manage those competing priorities. A skilled juggler doesn’t stare at each ball—he watches the arc. He anticipates where the ball is headed and places his hands accordingly. The same is true in money discussions among couples. If someone focuses only on the number in front of them, without understanding where the pattern is going, they’re likely to miss something important.
Good communication means learning to spot those arcs, not just reacting to numbers, but understanding what’s driving the conversation beneath the surface.
A better way to have money conversations
That’s why BatSheva developed the FinancialDate™ Discussion Cards. With 50 questions designed to uncover beliefs, habits, and money stories, the cards give couples a structured way to explore their financial values. There’s no single question that solves everything, but over time, the patterns start to emerge. And with those insights comes better alignment, better planning, and often a lot less conflict.
Note: This article is for educational purposes only and is not intended as financial, legal, or tax advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance tailored to your situation.
Want to learn more about how to talk about money without the stress? Visit www.financialdate.com to explore the FinancialDate™ Discussion Cards and download a free sample to start building stronger money conversations today.
