Why You Need to Change Your Money Mindset

Interview with Jen Sincero

“The first step to change is deciding you want to change” said Tony Robbins. Jen Sincero, author of You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, agrees, and she talks about how you can make the decision to be in charge of your financial life.

Douglas Goldstein: I’m very excited to have on The Goldstein on Gelt Show, Jen Sincero. She's an author, speaker, and the author of the number one New York Times bestseller You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life and now she has a new book called, You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth.

I’ve got to ask you, Jen, what does that mean?

You Have the Ability and the Power to Create Whatever Life You Desire

Jen Sincero: It means that you have the power and the ability to create whatever life you desire, including financial.

Douglas Goldstein: Cool. This is a financial show. Let's figure out how people can do that. It's an aggressive mindset that you are teaching people about.

How does that help you to make money?

Jen Sincero: When you've made the decision to make money, as opposed to the fake decision to make money, that’s a mindset shift and that makes you take different actions around making money, rather than wanting to, or hoping to, or feeling like you can’t.

Douglas Goldstein: That sounds good. In fact, I heard Tony Robbins say that also.

He said, “The first step to change is deciding you want to change.” But why does that really help?

Let’s face it, some people are bad investors. How can making the decision to be a good investor all of a sudden make you a good investor?

Jen Sincero: Because then you will do things outside of your comfort zone to become a better investor.

You’ll enroll in courses, perhaps, that cost money you are scared to spend. You'll reach out to people who you’re scared to contact because they are too big and fancy for you to contact.

You’ll stretch yourself and go way outside of your comfort zone on a regular basis, to do whatever you need to do, to create the financial reality you desire.

Douglas Goldstein: That’s great, because that sounds similar to people who are, let’s just say, not so good at money as they might be and it's a habit.

They’ve learned bad habits growing up because their parents were $50,000 in credit card debt and could never make the month.

This is what becomes the norm and it's uncomfortable to say, not only to yourself but to your family, "Hey, I’m going to stop being in debt or I’m going to start investing,” even though no one else ever did.

I think it leads to a problem where you are surrounded by people who have negative beliefs about money.

What are some of the common beliefs and how can people change them?

Negative Beliefs about Money

Jen Sincere: First of all, I want to say that surrounding yourself with people who have a healthy, positive, excited relationship with money is one of the key things you can do to change your financial reality.

Douglas Goldstein: All the listeners are lucky because they got you and me right here.

Jen Sincero: Exactly, though some of the common beliefs are, “Money is the root of all evil.” Only people with very questionable morals go after the making of money.

Money isn’t available to me the way it is to other people. I’m going to have to work really hard, and do stuff I hate in order to make money.

Stuff like that. And the way that you can go about changing it is very, very important.

Writing a Letter to Money

Jen Sincero: The first step is to become aware of what your personal stories are around money. I have an exercise in You Are a Badass at Making Money where I have you write a letter to money.

It sounds weird, but it's incredibly illuminating.

Douglas Goldstein: People have written letters to money successfully?

Jen Sincero: Absolutely. You’ve just got to take the time to do it. You sit down and you write to money as if it's a person, and let of all of your feelings and beliefs spill out on that page.

What’s so powerful about it is you see it staring back at you on the piece of paper; a lot of stuff you didn’t even realize you believed.

Douglas Goldstein: Let me tell you what my experience is in this.

In real life, I’m a financial advisor and I get to speak to people all the time about their goals, and their dreams, and a big part of this is financial planning for the future.

I would say for people who are inexperienced investors, the hardest thing for them to deal with is just the risk in the market.

Because I like to blame it on the media. They see that the media talks about this huge potential bubble and they’re afraid it's going to crash. They'll remember 10 years ago, when things looked the same, and they don’t know what to do.

They are so afraid and the fact is, it’s not unreasonable to be afraid, but it just stops them from doing anything. Is that a negative belief that people have?

The Thing about Fear

Jen Sincero: I think fear stops people from doing everything that’s good for them. There is no end to the list of things we're afraid of, but being successful in any area of your life is acknowledging the fear and moving forward anyway.

I talk a lot in my book about how you need to use fear as your compass, instead of as the brick wall that stops you.

One of the beautiful things about being afraid is that it signals you are stepping outside of your comfort zone.

If you want to change your life, and if you want to get rich, you have to do things that you’ve never done before, and fear is one of the best indicators that you are doing something you’ve never done before.

Douglas Goldstein: Jen, let’s talk about this fear compass and how it can help you.

How does the fear compass help you? I would think that when people see fear, they would run the other way.

Jen Sincero: Because we like to do things that keep us "comfortable," and I’ve got to say the comfort zone is not comfortable; it is familiar.

You’re familiar with whatever life that you’ve got set up for you, and whatever financial situation you are in.

Whether you like it or not, you are familiar with it. When you decide to change your financial reality, you have to do a lot of stuff you’ve never done before, because everything you’ve done has gotten you to where you are now.

Notice when you get an idea, or you see a suggestion, somebody gives you a suggestion, and it feels like it would move you in a great direction, but you are scared of it.

That’s an awesome sign. That’s exactly what you need to do because it’s outside your comfort zone. That’s what the fear is telling you.

Douglas Goldstein: Needless to say, if something is outside your comfort zone, you are going to be afraid to get there because it is, by definition, not in your comfort zone.

How do you take that first step? What’s the number one thing a person should do when he decides he's going to make the change? When he's ready to do something, other than buy your book, of course?

The Action Step When You Decide to Make the Change

Jen Sincero: There are a couple of things. Stay focused on why you want to make that change.

Instead of focusing on your fear, which is what so many of us have been trained to do, you focus on your “why.” Why do you desire this money? What are you going to spend it on? How is it going to make you feel to have it?

What is that excitement around it? We are emotional creatures who are motivated by emotion.

Tapping into that emotion on a regular basis, as to why this is so important to you and exciting to you, will help you push through the fear.

Douglas Goldstein: Let’s use a real example.

A person says, "I’m 40 years old and I realize I haven’t saved for retirement. I just ran some online calculator that says I’m going to have no money, and I’m going to end up moving in with my kids who I’m trying to kick out of the house right now."

That’s the fear that you’re going to run out of money and not be able to afford retirement. And you’re going to say, ''Focus on the ‘why’ you want to make that change."

Let’s say the why is because I want to make sure that I’m going to be secure. Where does it go from there?

Jen Sincero: I don’t understand the question. Where does what go from there?

Douglas Goldstein: Where would a person go once he realizes that he's got this problem? In his mind he says, "I know why I want to have money. I know why I want to start saving for retirement, but now what do I do?”

Jen Sincero: You get specific. What do you want your retirement to look like? Where do you want to live? Who do you want to be surrounded by? How does that feel? How much does it cost?

Get those specifics in place, because without specifics, you can’t work up the emotion because there is nothing to really attach to.

The Importance of the Spiritual Gym

First I'd say, get clear on the specifics. Second, start going to the spiritual gym. I talk a lot about this in You Are a Badass at Making Money. Pick specific things that keep you energized. What music do you listen to while you’re thinking about this retirement of yours? What self-help books are you reading to keep your mind fresh and excited, and open to the possibility that this could be a reality for you?

What action steps are you taking? What people are you surrounding yourself with? What are you going to actively participate in that is going to keep you on track, to push through the fear so that you can create this retirement reality for yourself?

Douglas Goldstein: That’s a great idea. I like the idea of getting specific. I say that also to people.

They tell me, “Doug, I want to make more in my investments.” Then I say, ''Why?" They say, “I want to retire safely.” And then I ask, “How much is it going to cost you, to feel confident that you will be safe in your retirement. That you able to pay the bills every month?”

We then try to draw this all down, but the interesting thing you are adding here is this idea of getting excited and maintaining that excitement.

When you talk about investing, or 401(k) plans, or retirement plans, it’s hard to get too excited about that, but you are suggesting to take things that otherwise excite you and combine them with something that maybe doesn’t excite you?

Jen Sincero: I don’t know what’s not exciting about a Roth 401(k) plan.

Douglas Goldstein: Or a Roth IRA.

Jen Sincero: Go look at the numbers every day and imagine them growing. I can get excited about that.

Douglas Goldstein: I hear you. If you see the potential, it's not just the details of the saving but it's where it can take you that's important.

I think is a topic that you talk about quite a bit, but we’re out of time. I'd like to know, in the last few seconds, how can people follow you and follow your work?

Jen Sincero: They can go to my website, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and it's all under my name. It's Jen Sincero. My website is jensincero.com. I’m Jen Sincero on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and all that stuff.

Douglas Goldstein: It’s awesome to have a pretty unique name. Thanks so much for taking the time to join us.

Jen Sincero: Thanks so much for having me.